Pre-season Wrap-up

This edition of the Weekly Wrap-up is brought to you in part by:

It’s that time again, the time you’ve all been waiting for. No, not your birthday, not the day you get your tax return, certainly not the day when Natalie Portman shows up on your front door desperately needing to borrow some clothes. That’s right, it’s the start of the 2011-12 NFL season and Bo Knows II. It also means that your favorite league column (by default) is back! Welcome to season two of the Weekly Wrap-up.

You've drafted your dream team, come up with a list of team names using puns based on the players you have, ultimately went with the team name you had last year, and now you're ready to sit back and be the best damn couch coach you can be.

For those of you who are new to the league (or who never checked the website last year), this is a weekly column (normally posted on Tuesdays) where I wrap-up the previous weeks games, matches and points. I try to keep my bias for my (champion) Pumaskulls to a minimum, but I can only hold back so much without going into straight-out denial. However, as last year’s champion, I’ve earned the right to do a little bragging/trash talking, so I will just say one word: REPEAT. Other than a few lame jokes and some commentary, this column is all about the cold hard facts. I will post the weekly leaders in points and keep track of the Top 5 points-leaders in each position.

To be honest, this isn’t going to be much of a pre-season wrap-up as the title indicates, seeing as how I watched approximately two minutes of pre-season football (just long enough to see Ryan Mathews make a sick 30-yard run and Larry Fitz make a sweet sideline grab, neither of which really helps me). So other than those two plays, I don’t really have much to go by. So instead, I decided to run with good old fashion SPECULATION! Woo!

Also back for the second year is the Match-up of the Week, where I single out a game to keep an eye on. This is usually based on standings, but sometimes a good ol’ rivalry will play into it. For Week 1’s MotW, while I am tempted to pick Giant Octopus vs. my (champion) Pumaskulls in a rematch of last years BO BOWL, I think it’s safe to say that every game is worthy. After all, this is where we will see which teams are talk and which teams are walk. So set those line-ups to stun, dress to impress, or whatever catchphrase tickles your fancy.

Now for the participatory section of the Pre-season Wrap-up: predictions! Below are a few things that will be determined through the course of the season. If you feel like it, and want some bragging rights for your awesome soothsaying abilities, reply to the post on the LEAGUE BOARDS (not here) with your predictions for each category.

-Top performer of the year (all positions):
-Biggest first round bust (aka The Ryan Grant/Mathews Award):
-Biggest sleeper (anyone picked outside the first three rounds, aka the Arian Foster Award):
-Bo Bowl Championship Match-up that doesn’t include your team (doesn’t have to be East vs. West either):
-Top kicker of the year:

Last, I would like to encourage everyone to actively engage in the trash-talking aspect of fantasy football. It’s almost as important as setting your lineup each week, but not quite (remember: set your lineup each week). Specifically, I’d love to see more trash-talk in the form of pictures, either Photoshop’d or well-timed memes. Be creative! Be ruthless! I know at least half of you have some Photoshop experience, so I expect good things from you. In addition to creative trash-talking and Photoshopping, creative whining is also encouraged. I’ll talk to Commissioner Phillips about getting a prize together, and at the end of the year we can vote on the best trash-talk, shop-job, cry-baby, whatever. But don’t do it for the prizes, do it for the glory!

(Your name here) in a few weeks...

That’s it for this week’s edition. Check back on Tuesday for the Week 1 Wrap-up. Also, if you have any suggestions for this, let me know. You’re (non-sexual) wish is (possibly) my command (as long as I don’t hate you). GLHF!