Week 7 Wrap-up

This edition of the Weekly Wrap-up is brought to you in part by:

Despair & Pairity

Week 7 turned out to be a wild one, with injuries and surprise wins galore. I mentioned last week that with the season half over we have officially entered Crunch Time. It seems the teams at the bottom of the standings took note. All three (including my comeback champion Pumaskulls) put up big wins to climb back into the playoff race. On the top of the standings, three of the top four teams lost. Aside from Cox's Annexation, who are separating themselves from the rest of the pack with a 6-1 record, the entire league is within two games of one another. Once again, the playoff spots are anyone's for the taking.

We had some great performances in the league this week. Arian Foster gave us a little flashback to last season, putting up 41.4 points and leading both his teams to victory. Looks like his hamstring woes are far behind him. On the other side of the field, Chris Johnson had a pretty lousy day, which (paired with lousy days from Ray Rice and MJD) helped my (champion) Pumaskulls pull off a surprise victory over Giant Octopus. It was not a pretty win - three of my players scored a total of 2.5 points - but a win is a win, and I'll take it. Chris' HerpDerp Bergers went into the week as underdogs against Ash's skyrocketing Shittysauruses and ended up with the big win. The top waiver wire pickup for last week DeMarco Murray lead the way, scoring 31.3 points, including an impressive 91 yard TD run on his first carry.

Beat. Down.

In the Match-up of the Week, former autodraft champion Shenanihads put up an impressive win against one of the top teams in Juan's Nerfherders. The Nerfherders were curses with a few goose eggs, meanwhile 3 of Jim's players scored more than 20 points. Eric's TGIF put up a monster win over Drew's Boomers, coming close to winning by 100 points. The Boomers were plagued with half the team on byes, meanwhile Drew Brees had a crazy night dismantling the Colts on national television. With the victory, TGIF takes back the title of highest scoring team so far this season, putting up 730.2 points. The West continued its point domination over the East, with five of six teams above the 700-mark for points scored.

Top 10 Players In-play

1. Arian Foster[RB] (COX) - 41.4
2. Drew Brees[QB] (TGIF) - 33
3. DeMarco Murray[RB] (HURR) - 31.3
4. Ben Roethlisberger[QB] (HURR) - 26.2
4. Aaron Rodgers[QB] (PHSH) - 26.2
6. Cam Newton[QB] (SLNF) - 26.1
7. Matt Forte[RB] (PHSH) - 24.3
8. Adrian Peterson[RB] (TGIF) - 23.5
9. Tim Tebow[QB] (DMPS) - 22.9
10. Darren Sproles[RB] (PHSH) - 22.7

Season Points Leaders by Position

QB:
1. Aaron Rodgers (PHSH) - 188.4
2. Cam Newton (SLNF) - 168.7
3. Drew Brees (TGIF) - 162.6
4. Tom Brady (34) - 137.5
5. Matthew Stafford (FLUF) - 133.4

RB:
1. Matt Forte (PHSH) - 127.1
2. Adrian Peterson (TGIF) - 124.1
3. Fred Jackson (34) - 124
4. LeSean McCoy (MEGA) - 117.2
5. Michael Turner (SHSR) - 105.9

WR:
1. Calvin Johnson (SHSR) - 127.9
2. Wes Welker (MEGA) - 116.4
3. Mike Wallace (OCTO) - 103.8
4. Steve Smith (HURR) - 98.4
5. Greg Jennings (TGIF) 97.7

TE:
1. Jimmy Graham (COX) - 97.4
2. Rob Gronkowski (SHSR) - 70.1
3. Jason Witten (HURR) - 62.9
4. Tony Gonzales (ATOM) - 62
5. Jermichael Finley (TGIF) - 57.4

D/ST:
1. Ravens (SLNF) - 90
2. Jets (ATOM) - 84
3. 49ers (34) - 68
3. Texans (TGIF) - 68
5. Bears (DMPS) - 65

K:
1. John Kasay (COX) - 75
1. Jason Hanson (FLUF) - 75
3. Mason Crosby (PHSH) - 73
4. Dan Bailey (SHSR) - 72
5. Robbie Gould (34) - 65


Week 8 Match-up of the Week: TGIF vs. Fluffy Bunnies

This week's MotW is a face-off against two of the toughest teams in the league. TGIF is looking to regain their early season glory as they try to climb to the top of the West to challenge Annexation. Meanwhile out East, the Fluffy Bunnies are looking for a win to be the lone leaders of the division. Both teams have some critical byes this week, but the match-up looks pretty even and should be a shoot-out.

Week 6 Wrap-up

This edition of the Weekly Wrap-up is brought to you in part by:

The Glass is Half-something

Week 6 is in the books which brings us roughly to the halfway point in the season. I've been saying each week that the playoff spots are still anyone's for the taking, but from this point forward the competition is going to get a lot stiffer. For those teams that are below the .500 mark the coming weeks are especially important as we try to pull ourselves up from the gutters to gain ground on the division leaders. Every game from here on out is a do-or-die situation. But it won't be much easier for the teams on top of the standings. After all, the counterpart to the epic comeback of a struggling team is the crash-and-burn meltdown of a top team. Competition is especially close in the East division where only three games separate first from last, and with seven weeks remaining, anything might happen there.

Quit playing games with my heart.

Week 6 continued the previous week's trend of one-sided blowouts, at least for half the games. Three matches were decided by a margin of more than 40 points. The most surprising victory came from Chris' HerpDerp Bergers who upset Eric's TGIF to grab their first victory of the year. Congrats to Chris on grabbing the win in stellar fashion. In the Battle of the Mediocre, Ash's Shittysauruses beat out my (say-it-while-I-can champion) Pumaskulls on a 38-yard TD-catch by Santonio "Heartbreaker" Holmes. Congrats Ash on the win, it literally made me sick. We had a great game in the match-up of Phillips brothers, with Matt's Mega Shark edging out Drew's Boomers. Both teams played great but Mega Shark had solid performances from eight of nine positions to grab the victory. And in the Match-up of the Week, Cox's Annexation put the smackdown on Juan's Nerfherders to grab sole possession of the league's best record.

I've made a huge mistake: I drafted Vick.

Now that the season is halfway done, we can take a look back at the draft and start to grade the picks. I'll hardly be the first to say that drafting Vick first round was a mistake. While he ranks sixth for quarterbacks so far this year, it has not been worth the complete lack of a decent running back, and the fact that he has zero rushing touchdowns on the year isn't much compensation. Other first round busts would include Jamaal Charles, who went down with an injury, Andre Johnson, also affected by injuries, and Rashard Mendenhall, who has just generally sucked. On the other side of the coin, there were some great grabs outside of the first three rounds. Since Cam Newton went undrafted, he doesn't really count here, though he is the biggest surprise player of the year. The top running back so far has been Fred Jackson, who was grabbed late in the fourth round by Drew and has paid off immensely. Matthew Stafford ranks 5th among quarterbacks, just a few points below Drew Brees, and now seems like a steal, going at the top of round 6 to Brett's Fluffy Bunnies. The award for best picks might have to go to Matt. Not only did he grab Wes Welker, who leads wide receivers in points, in round 5, but he also picked A.J. Green in round 9. Green ranks 6th among receivers, great worth for his draft position. Other great picks are Jahvid Best (round 4), Jimmy Graham (round 7), Steve Smith (round 9), Tony Gonzales (round 12), and Darren Sproles (round 13).

In other NFL news, the Packers are now the only undefeated team after the Lions lost in the last minutes of Sunday's game against the 49ers. The most exciting part of the game came after it was done, when Niners coach Jim Harbaugh got a little too excited for Lion's coach Jim Schwartz's liking. Schwartz chased Harbaugh down to yell at him, and the whole stadium erupted with "COACH FIGHT!" Unfortunately it was broken up before any punches were thrown, cause let's be honest, that would have been bad-ass.

Top 10 Players In-play

1. Ahmad Bradshaw[RB] (HURR) - 31
2. Michael Turner[RB] (SHSR) - 26.7
3. Aaron Rodgers[QB] (PHSH) - 23.9
4. Fred Jackson[RB] (NWA) - 22.8
5. Matthew Stafford[QB] (FLUF) - 20.6
5. Frank Gore[RB] (MEGA) - 20.6
5. Rashard Mendenhall[RB] (FLUF) - 20.6
8. Josh Freeman[QB] (COX) - 20.4
9. Billy Cundiff[K] (HURR) - 20
9. Jets D/ST (ATOM) - 20

Season Points Leaders by Position

QB:
1. Aaron Rodgers (PHSH) - 161.9
2. Cam Newton (SLNF) - 142.9
3. Tom Brady (NWA) - 137.5
4. Drew Brees (TGIF) - 129.6
5. Matthew Stafford (FLUF) - 122.1

RB:
1. Fred Jackson (NWA) - 124
2. LeSean McCoy (MEGA) - 117.2
3. Darren McFadden (FLUF) - 104.1
4. Matt Forte (PHSH) - 102.8
5. Adrian Peterson (TGIF) - 100.6

WR:
1. Wes Welker (MEGA) - 116.4
2. Calvin Johnson (SHSR) - 110.4
3. Mike Wallace (OCTO) - 86
4. Steve Smith (HURR) - 83.5
5. Greg Jennings (TGIF) - 77

TE:
1. Jimmy Graham (COX) - 80
2. Rob Gronkowski (SHSR) - 70.1
3. Tony Gonzales (ATOM) - 55.8
4. Jason Witten (HURR) - 53.4
5. Jermichael Finley (TGIF) - 50.1

D/ST:
1. Ravens (SLNF) - 79
2. Jets (ATOM) - 77
3. 49ers (NWA) - 68
4. Bengals (COX) - 63
5. Lions (FLUF) - 56

K:
1. Jason Hanson (FLUF) - 64
1. Sebastian Janikowski (SLNF) - 64
3. David Akers (NWA) - 61
4. John Kasay (COX) - 60
4. Dan Bailey (SHSR) - 60


Onto Week 7...

Match-up of the Week

This week's MotW was not easy to decide. There was no clear-cut choice, no face-off of division leaders or games of intrigue. On top of that, half the teams this week are going to be hit hard by bye-week holes in their lineups (I'm looking at you, Mega Shark, Boomers, Giant Octopus). As such, I think the best game this week will be Juan's Scruffy Looking Nerf Herders against Jim's Shenanihads. The Nerf Herders are atop the East division with a good looking 4-2 recording and looking to keep their spot as top-dog. Meanwhile, the Shenanihads have had some tough loses in the last few weeks and will seek to upset once again. And as always, the Shenanihads will choose a new taunting logo for the week. Should be a good one.

Good Luck to everyone this week (except for Justin, even if half your team is on bye, I'm not taking any chances).

Week 5 Wrap-up

This edition of the Weekly Wrap-up is brought to you in part by:

Blowoutville

This week in the league was not very pretty. In fact, it was straight-up fugly. That's right, I said it. Fugly. It's the week that lives in the bathroom in your basement, the week you never let out in sunlight for fear that your neighbors will think the end is finally here. Granted, it wasn't ugly for all of the match-ups. My pick for Match-up of the Week turned out to be a close, down-to-the-wire match (totally called it). The Shittysauruses/Shenanihads match-up came all the way down to Monday night in a RB vs. RB/WR battle. But everywhere else in the league, things were just brutal. In the other four games, the winners beat the losers by a combined 183 points (or an average of 45.75 point differential per game). The ugliest of the bunch was the Roommate Bowl, where Juan's Nerf Herders put the beatdown on Martin's Atoms, winning by 73.6 points, scoring 2.26 times more points. In the Keep Changing Your Name Bowl, Andrew's Boomers spanked Chris' Bergers by 52.2 points. Cox's Annexation gave Giant Octopus a nice big push down the hill as OCTO slides to 3-2. In my own match-up, my (on a roll champion) Pumaskulls scored a measly 75.3 points, ugly in its own right but still enough to beat Brett's Fluffy Bunnies by over 20 points. The combined score for the game (127.1) was still under what Juan alone scored for the week. Fugly.

Standings-wise, things are still pretty tight all around the league. We have two teams leading their divisions with 4-1 records (both of which are new to fantasy football, go figure). Below them are five teams with 3-2, including a few of the early season power-houses. The good thing is that everyone is still in the mix, even the 0-5 HerpDerp Bergers can turn it all around with a streak. There's still a lot of games left to be played so anything can happen. One interesting note is the differences in the two divisions. Every team in the West has scored over 500 points on the year so far, which averages out to at least 100 points per week (otherwise known as not-too-shabby). Out East, only one team has managed to top 500. However, out West each team has given up almost as many points as they've scored. It'll be interesting to see if this trend continues. While the West seems to dominate offensively, only half the teams are currently over .500, while in the East 4 of the 6 have winning records.

Cirque de Bowe

It was another weird and crazy week in the NFL. The "Don't Call us the Dream-Team" Eagles lost to the freaking Bills, who are rolling behind Fred Jackson. Jackson, as you will see below, leads the leagues RBs in points through five weeks, racking up three 20 point plus games. Elsewhere in the league, Adrian Peterson was determined to not be forgotten, scoring 3 TDs and leading the week in scoring overall. As I mentioned last week, we have yet to have a RB lead the week in scoring, so it only makes sense that AP would break through. There are a few other oddities around the NFL standings. Aside from the Bills being tied in first place with the Pats in the AFC East, we have the Redskins leading the NFC East, the 49ers sitting at 4-1 and the Lions still undefeated at 5-0. Armed with a new starting QB, the Colts looked poised to win their first game of the year, only to lose to the Chiefs on a bizarre circus catch by Dwayne Bowe (if you haven't seen it, go YouTube it).

A few hundred miles away, Victor Cruz's spider sense started tingling, notifying him that Bowe had just make a crazy catch, to which Cruz replied "That ain't nothin'." Cruz bobbled a long bomb from Eli Manning over two defenders before catching it with one hand and running it in for the score (if you haven't seen it, again, YouTube it). The Giants still ended up losing to the Seahawks (my boys), even though I played the Giants D/ST and was rooting against them. Cruz had another monster game, putting him back in the spotlight after seemingly fading from memory last week.

Onto the points leaders...

Top 10 Players In-play for Week 5

1. Adrian Peterson[RB] (TGIF) - 30.2
2. BenJarvis Green-Ellis[RB] (SLNF) - 26.9
3. Fred Jackson[RB] (NWA) - 25.6
4. Dwayne Bowe[WR] (COX) - 24.8
5. Pierre Garcon[WR] (PHSH) - 24.5
6. Aaron Rodgers[QB] (PHSH) - 23.7
6. Cam Newton[QB] (SLNF) - 23.7
8. Jahvid Best[RB] (SHSR) - 23.2
9. Michael Vick[QB] (DMPS) - 21.6
10. 49ers D/ST (NWA) - 21

Season Points Leaders by Position

QB:
1. Aaron Rodgers (PHSH) - 138
2. Cam Newton (SLNF) - 128.4
3. Tom Brady (NWA) - 120.3
4. Drew Brees (TGIF) - 114.2
5. Matthew Stafford (FLUF) - 101.4

RBs:
1. Fred Jackson (NWA) - 101.2
2. LeSean McCoy (MEGA) - 97.3
3. Adrian Peterson (TGIF) - 90.7
4. Matt Forte (PHSH) - 90.5
5. Darren McFadden (FLUF) - 88.8

WRs:
1. Wes Welker (MEGA) - 105.9
2. Calvin Johnson (SHSR) - 99.1
3. Steve Smith (NYAN) - 76.9
4. Mike Wallace (OCTO) - 72.4
5. Greg Jennings (TGIF) - 68.8

TEs:
1. Jimmy Graham (COX) - 67.6
2. Rob Gronkowski (SHSR) - 62.7
3. Tony Gonzales (ATOM) - 52.9
4. Jermichael Finley (TGIF) - 48.1
5. Owen Daniels (PHSH) - 45.1

D/STs:
1. Ravens (SLNF) - 72
2. 49ers (NWA) - 61
3. Jets (ATOM) - 57
4. Lions (FLUF) - 50
5. Texans (TGIF) - 48

Ks:
1. Jason Hanson (FLUF) - 58
2. Sebastian Janikowski (SLNF) - 57
3. John Kasay (COX) - 52
4. Neil Rackers (TGIF) - 51
5. Mason Crosby (PHSH) - 49


Match-up of the Week: The Annexation of Puerto Rico vs. Scruffy Looking Nerf Herders

No question about this one. The two 4-1 teams face off in a battle of division leaders/FFB newbs. One will walk away with the top record in the entire league, the other will go down in a glorious fireball of disgrace. Should be interesting, everyone rooting against their division leaders. Let's see if we can get some bets going (but leave the beards out of it!)

That's all for this week. Make those waiver pick-ups. Good luck to everyone this week (especially Ash, who's gonna need it to beat me! MUAHAHAHAHA!)

SEACREST OUT!

Week 4 Wrap-up

This edition of the Weekly Wrap-up is brought to you in part by:

Nobody's Perfect

Not anymore. Week 4, among other things, brought upset loses to the league's two undefeated teams, thus crushing Brett and Justin's dreams of perfect seasons much like David Tyree's helmet did to the Patriots a few years back. On the flip side, three of the four 0-3 teams got their first victories, two of which were especially sweet because they came against two of the best. Ash's hard-luck Shittysauruses finally broke the spell and put a thumping on Eric's elite TGIF squad, thanks to yet another impressive 2-TD performance by Calvin Johnson, including on last minute leaping grab that gave the Lions the lead over the Cowboys. (Quick side note: the Lions are now 4-0. That's right....the Lions. And everyone made fun of Brett for drafting practically the whole team.)

Classic 'Damn I'm Good' pose.

Speaking of thumpings and upsets, how 'bout dem Shenanihads? Aaron Rodgers, with a tiny bit of help from the rest of Jim's team, handed Giant Octopus their first loss of the season. Rodgers accounted for one-third of the points put up by the Shenanihads, and even though OCTO had another impressive 100 point plus scoring day, they still managed to lose by over 30 points. When your team starts 0-3, it feels good to get that first win, and when you blow out one of the teams leading the league? It's so good it makes you feel downright dirty. Both of the upsetting teams (Shittysauruses and Shenanihads) meet this week, with Ash looking to continue rolling while Jim's tries to sweep the Phillips' household. Should be a good game, maybe worthy of the MotW...

Week 4's Match-up of the Week proved to be the closest game, with Martin's Atoms taking a 16 point victory to the bank and ruining Brett's perfect season. The previously high-flying Fluffy Bunnies put up mediocre numbers, while the Atoms' newest trade acquisition Beanie Wells put the team on his back, scoring 3 TDs and an impressive 31.8 points.

Elsewhere in the league, some first round picks had their first good performances of the year, giving some much needed justification for their high selections. Michael Vick put up 30.1 points, his best game this season, helping my (reinvigorated champion) Pumaskulls grab their first win of the season (sorry, Chris, I wish it didn't have to be this way). Vick's hand didn't seem to be an issue, but the scare of injuries seems to be keeping him in the pocket, limiting his rushing game to only 75 yards. Four games into the year, he has scored a whopping zero rushing TDs, something I pray to Thor will change in the coming weeks. Arian Foster returned to action Sunday and scored 22 points, a weak performance compared to his shenanigans last year, but still a solid outing. We should see more from Foster as Ben Tate went down in the first quarter with an injury.

One strange sidenote before we get into the Week's top performances, if you haven't noticed, the top scorer in each of the first four weeks has yet to be a running back. Normally the RBs dominate the leaderboards, but aside from a handful of breakout games, it has mostly been dominated by QBs and Wes Welker. We'll see if this trend continues into Week 5.

Top Performers

Top 10 Players In-Play
1. Aaron Rodgers[QB] (PHSH) - 45.9
2. Cam Newton[QB] (SLNF) - 32.5
3. Ravens D/ST (SLNF) - 32
4. Beanie Wells[RB] (ATOM) - 31.8
5. Michael Vick[QB] (DMPS) - 30.1
6. Matt Forte[RB] (PHSH) - 28.8
7. Josh Freeman[QB] (COX) - 24.2
8. Arian Foster[RB] (COX) - 22.6
9. Hakeem Nicks[WR] (OCTO) - 22.2
10. Wes Welker[WR] (MEGA) - 21.8


Season Points Leaders by Position

QBs:
1. Aaron Rodgers (PHSH) - 114.3
2. Tom Brady (NWA) - 105.1
3. Cam Newton (SLNF) - 104.7
4. Drew Brees (TGIF) - 93.8
5. Matthew Stafford (FLUF) - 86.6


RBs:
1. Darren McFadden (FLUF) - 82
2. LeSean McCoy (MEGA) - 80.6
3. Ray Rice (OCTO) - 77.9
4. Fred Jackson (NWA) - 75.6
5. Matt Forte (PHSH) - 75.4


WRs:
1. Wes Welker (MEGA) - 93.5
2. Calvin Johnson (SHSR) - 80.1
3. Steve Smith (NYAN) - 63
4. Mike Wallace (OCTO) - 57.4
5. Vincent Jackson (DMPS) - 55.5

TEs:
1. Rob Gronkowski (SHSR) - 59.6
2. Jimmy Graham (COX) - 54.7
3. Tony Gonzales (ATOM) - 46.9
4. Jason Witten (NYAN) - 42.6
5. Jermichael Finley (TGIF) - 41.4

D/STs:
1. Ravens (SLNF) - 72
2. Jets (ATOM) - 55
3. Lions (FLUF) - 45
4. Redskins (COX) - 41
4. Texans (TGIF) - 41

Ks:
1. Jason Hanson (FLUF) - 52
2. Dan Bailey (FA) - 49
3. Neil Rackers (TGIF) - 41
4. John Kasay (COX) - 39
4. Mike Nugent (FA) - 39


Onto Week 5...

Match-up of the Week

Picking the MotW was a bit tricky this week. There are a couple games that look to be pretty good. I mentioned the Shenanihads vs. Shittysauruses earlier. In the East division, the Atoms and Nerfherders face off to see who will stay atop the division. Out West, OCTO and Annexation battle for first place. But if I had to pick a match-up that should be a good tight game, it would have to be Mega Shark vs. TGIF. Both are top teams with deceptive 2-2 records. They've scored within .6 points of each other for the year, which should make it a close match. Winner will move into position to challenge first place while the loser will sink below .500.

Remember to put in your waiver picks tonight. Also, this is the first week with byes, so make sure you set your rosters accordingly. Should make match-ups a bit more interesting. Good luck to everyone (except fucking Brett, you're going down, bitch).